May 23, 2002

     Dr. JP was playing mahjong at a friend's house a few kilometers away from the hospital's compound. By 1 a.m., he decided to call it quits and politely asked if he could go back to the hospital. He had to walk considering public transportations were no longer available. The hospital is in the middle of a sugarcane plantation and during that time, the sugarcanes were fully-grown ready for harvest. Dr. JP thought that if he's going to use the road it would take him at least an hour to get to the hospital. So he decided to take a shortcut - cross the sugarcane field. He'll be in the hospital compound in half the time.

     The sugarcanes easily dwarfed him, but Dr. JP did not mind. He's been doing this on a regular basis, he can basically close his eyes and still get to the hospital which was essentially his home.

     Halfway through the field, he heard two male voices and a lady's voice, sobbing and begging for mercy. Fear immediately enveloped his frail body, he turned so cold, he could've easily turned sugarcane juice into ice cream. It could be a lover's quarrel at least, or a molestation at most. Dr. JP feared the worst.

     He took a few steps back as slowly as possible but he tripped and made a noise loud enough to be heard. Any kind of noise would've been heard anyway. It was so dark and quiet, you could probably hear two spiders making love. As Dr. JP struggled to get up, what followed next was a frantic conversation, so near Dr. JP could hear every word of it.

     Male Voice 1: "Pre, pre, may tawo...." (Buddy, there's a man...)

     Male Voice 2: "Yudi****(expletive)...." (Son of a b*** ...)

     Male Voice 1: "Pangita-a to anay, pre. Kun makita' mo, patya!!" (Look for him. If you find him, kill him!!)

"The patients and, dare I say, consultants, were very well-pampered and more spoiled than Cinderella's evil stepsisters."

     Fearing for his life, he did not think of running. He just assumed a fetal position and did not move even a millimeter. It turned out it was one of the best decisions he ever made. The voices and the footsteps slowly went away, while Dr. JP, now looking like a fully-cooked shrimp, waited for hours in the same position until the sun came up.

     Dr. JP has survived another day.

     Now, that's a true story. How dare you think I made that up.

     Dr. JP was the most famous and the best-loved doctor to ever set foot at St. Joseph's Hospital, once a landmark in the town of Manapla, Negros Occidental. The only other thing associated with this quiet town other than Manapla puto. One may not know the name of their own mayor but they know JP. He's known all over town. He's a godfather to every child born in town within his tenure at the hospital. He was more popular than hot sardines.

     St. Joseph's Hospital was once a subsidiary hospital of Victorias Milling Company (VMC), the sugar-mill giant who later went bankrupt in the worst bankruptcy case this side of Enron. I read somewhere that the company folded, albeit partially, because of excessive loans and extravagant spending by the company and its executives. I worked at St. Joseph's Hospital (which means I was working for Victorias Milling Company) in the Department of Internal Medicine from mid-1994 to late-1995. Having dealt with patients who were all employees of the company, I wasn't surprised that the hospital eventually closed a few years later. The patients and, dare I say, consultants, were very well-pampered and more spoiled than Cinderella's evil stepsisters.

     I was told the hospital was converted into a part of the St. Mary's Catholic School, rooms and wards converted into classrooms. St. Mary's, an exclusive school for girls, was also operated by VMC. I wouldn't have mind working here as school physician if I did not leave St. Joseph early. (Please don't read more into it than that.) The school has since been spun off and is now operating on its own.

     (Speaking of Enron, the company that audited Victorias Milling Company's books is a Philippine affiliate of Andersen, the auditing firm more famous for operating a shredding machine than a calculator. Here's a quote from an article which appeared April 11, 2002, in The Age (theage.com.au), an Australian daily: "SGV, the Andersen affiliate in the Philippines, was reprimanded for unethical conduct by the local accountants professional body in 2000 after it unilaterally withdrew three years' worth of audit reports for a local listed company, Victoria's Milling Co, which later went bankrupt. Andersen-SGV had certified inventory without actually checking it.")

     I worked at St. Joseph's Hospital out of necessity. There were no residency openings among Iloilo hospitals at that time. And for at least the next six months. I decided not to ask money from my parents anymore and get a job. About six of us jobless doctors decided to go to Bacolod City. A friend told us that one private hospital (the name escapes me now) are hiring doctors to fill up residency positions and are paying good money. The training was not accredited but the hospital was applying for accreditation and was willing to fill vacancies with the first available applicant. As impossible as this may sound, even Dr. Raniel Mon (1992) would have been accepted. (Okay, I'm just kidding.)

     It was not our intention at first to work in far-away Manapla. But the offer was more than what we bargained for.

     We found out later that the private Bacolod hospital has entered into a consortium of sorts with St. Joseph's Hospital in order to come up with the minimum number of beds and patients. We were then told that we may be assigned to St. Joseph's Hospital. Anywhere. We needed the money.

     Before us, there were only about three residents at St. Joseph's, all College of Medicine alumni, including Dr. JP, and a couple of PGI's. There was a consultant for every department. They were later joined by consultants from Iloilo, including Dr. P, who opted to leave the politics of the Western Visayas Medical Center in Mandurriao. (Pardon the initials, some people do not appreciate being celebrities.)

     And so there we were. In a hospital in the middle of a sugarcane plantation.

     Where consultants get cars and residents get 3 kilos of refined sugar.

     Where you learn to drink Beer na Beer because the store has run out of the real thing.

     Where Salmonella typhi never encounter Chloramphenicol because the drug-of-choice is spelled r-o-c-e-p-h-i-n.

     Where new relationships are born (c'mon AB, admit it!).

     Where the patients tell you what to prescribe to them even before you ask for their chief complaints.

     Where the people are all too friendly. The hospital personnel. The nurses. The common folks. You won't even think of leaving the place anymore.

     Besides, if you work with Dr. JP, there's never a dull day.

     to be continued... Part 2 »

See you at Dinagyang?

     A few weeks ago, Manang Joyce Jaen (Guam, 1990) extended an invitation to have a reunion in Iloilo among 'on-line alumni' during the Dinagyang Festival in late January, 2003. We may never get to realize organizing a U.S. chapter of the alumni association, at least, we can have this as a start. We can call it our 'On-line Society' for now, for lack of a better name.

     Since Manang Joyce suggested it, I hope she can help organize it. Because Manang, I'll be there. At least, I'm planning, too. We're coming home for a different purpose but this is perfect timing.

     And this is a special invitation to all of you out there who open this site on a regular basis. I'll hopefully see you in January, 2003.

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     The author's e-mail address is at drgarcia@wvsumedaa.com

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